My life after Tinnitus
Posted on | February 19, 2009 | 28 Comments
Well if you have landed on this page you could be one of the millions afflicted by tinnitus, and like myself still desperately looking for a cure or at best relief.
I first noticed a high pitch ring in my left ear after treatment for testicular cancer in my early twenties, I’m now 41. Chemotherapy drugs like cysplatin saved my life but left me with irreversible ear damage as it destroyed the fragile nerves throughout my cochlea. Well years passed and the ring became less distressing and I thought, “Oh well, that’s not too bad, I can live with that.”
The sad news is that over the last year the volume in my ear has at least doubled to what it used to be, in fact if you consider the sound of an average TV set at a medium volume my tinnitus is louder. Some days are very loud, ridiculously loud. I say to myself, “This is absurd, it can’t be real, and pray tomorrow it will be better?” But when very little change or relief comes and I become distraught and depressed with a real sense of helplessness and despair. Even as I write this article I have an mp3 player with one ear piece in my left ear playing the sound of a running stream over and over to help try and mask this infuriating sound.
Well enough of the saga, how do I deal with it? Well some days I don’t! I’m going to be honest with you. I break down into my loving wife’s arms and cry. Literally, I have sobbed like a baby, an outward plea for God to rescue me from my private hell. On other days I awake from my bed and check in with T, yep, still there and I pray, “God please give me strength to see and feel what is good today, let me live beyond this condition and be joyful”.
In my life I have endured many hardships but on a scale of things the challenge of T has been the greatest. I feel it’s impact on my life constantly and I see myself changing by it’s tormenting effects.
The bottom line is today I will either fall prey to the ‘wo is me victim type scenario’ and allow the T to totally destroy my quality of life, my marriage and health or I can counter it’s negative associations by improving my life in other ways. Like a counter weight I suppose.
OK, well what activities are going to make my T less noticeable? What’s going to’ distract’ me long enough to give me some sense of relief and as you may well know every drop counts, that’s got to be a start . Well here’s my personal list of where for a moment or two my life is relatively normal and the stress of T is reduced by varying degrees.
Activities
- This maybe extreme for some but windsurfing is my greatest relief, the sound of gurgling water and wind rushing past my ears is wonderful. Really helps get rid of that ‘anger’ that builds up within me and helps me sleep better at night
- Driving my car with the windows down and the radio on
- A nice long shower
- My wife stroking my hair in her lap
- Playing guitar, as a producer being engrossed in making music really helps.
- Wearing earphones and listening to the sound of the ocean, a bubbling stream while I’m reading or surfing the net. Don’t hold back on cheap earphones either, you deserve hi fidelity sound and with full bandwidth. I use the Sennheiser in ear style headphones, I really like ‘em.
- Chewing gum, I get a jaw ache though, I tend to overdo it.
- OK, not windsurfing but still head to the beach and listen to the wind, my best friend.
- Roller Blading, wind generators on wheels.
- Swimming
- Just joined a gym and really love the background noise of treadmills and whizzing, whirling machines.
- As a sports teacher I also get to play with noisy kids, I get involved and engrossed with them. In fact I actually look forward to work much more with T, kid therapy.
- Sing! Sing out loud.
- Hum or whistle, especially if your hit with a wall of silence.
- Explore new forms of music.
- Oh yeah, crunchy food
- Pray, repeat a mantra, get close to your creator.
- Bikes are great!
If you have any more please comment, I’d like to add them to the list.
Tips
These are a few things I have discovered myself and from gathering information from the net that may be helpful to you.
- I’ve been drinking Roibus tea as opposed to caffeine drinks which increase the volume of T in some people. On days when my T really sucks I have a nice decaf or a real cup of tea, and reward myself. Who cares? It ain’t getting any louder now so you may as well enjoy yourself.
- Drink lot’s of water and detox
- Sorry, no alcohol
- Learn to relax deeply before sleep
- Keep a fan on in your bedroom at night, mine just died from overuse.
- AVOID SILENCE, this must be a priority.
- Get out the house, ambient noise please
- Don’t dwell on T
- Don’t monitor your T and tune into it, the more you listen the louder it gets
- Exercise, channel your frustrations into muscle power, release those endorphins
- Exercise will increase your libido, enjoy and improve your sex life, that’s got to be good!
- Become a giver, serve someone less well off than yourself. Go for the spiritual lift.
- Do not use T as an excuse to justify your depression, I have had great days where my T is loud. One example was a trip to Bali on a honeymoon. So many things were going on, sights, smells, new experiences, I was living. Keep living. T is a thief, it has already taken far too much. Proclaim, “Today is my day!”
- If you break down and lose it, don’t be hard on yourself, it’s ok to grieve the loss of silence but keep tabs on it and get proactive asap.
- Don’t give up work, you are not an invalid, find work that you can manage.
- Empower yourself with knowledge of T and it’s therapies. TRT therapy has much validity in my opinion
- Beware of sharks, internet bullies who promise you a quick fix with a paypal account. Ear drops don’t work!
- Try meditation but use headphones with background noise to assist you.
- Employ self talk and positive visualization of you becoming victorious, slaying the T dragon. Affirmations like, “I will habituate!”. “My T is not louder, only my perception of it is, therefore I can reduce it’s volume.”
- Breathe in…..breathe out…, there is a lot of power in the breath. Do you feel your shortness right now? Is your chest tight? Exhale stress, breathe in love.
- Have you considered yoga?
- Overcome depression and hopelessness by engaging with a wider community in a selfless and charitable manner. Many of the great saints had a thorn in their side so to speak, their quiet suffering allowed them the gift of empathy, an insight into the suffering of others. Today we suffer, but if T be the sand in the oyster we will be truly beautiful on that great day my friends. Try and see the big picture, beyond this world if you can. Your reward awaits you. God knows you intimately and loves you deeply, he will give you strength, lean on him.
This list is not exhaustive but as with “Activities” I would gladly accept any new ideas.
My next article will be regarding the changes I’m going through as a T sufferer, I intend to remain positive, that’s my choice.
Thanks for reading
Mike de Velta
Tags: activities for tinnitus > life after tinnitus > living with tinnitus > tinnitus help > tinnitus tips > tips for tinnitus
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Voted Best Blues Artist of 2011 by Global Thunda Network, Mike De Velta's intoxicating compositions and performances are constantly on the move. A rich showcase of modern delta, slide and piedmont blues expressed with a hint of the Eastern through the shimmering and delightful tones of lap slide, resonator and acoustic guitars.
March 4th, 2009 @ 5:40 pm
Thanks Mike!
I too am a musician struggling with tinnitus. Mine was caused by hearing loss due to over exposer to loud noise. I’m only 20 and I’ve only had it for two or so months. So far these two months have been the worst months of my life. I also have hyperacusis on top of my tinnitus.
I have been playing the violin for 14 years, and I’m also a sound tech at a local music venue. And now, due to my hyperacusis, I can’t even play my violin without putting ear plugs in. It has made me so paranoid, that I’m afraid to go to work at shows even with ear plugs in.
You’re post was very uplifting. I know that there is hope, and a chance for relief!
April 16th, 2009 @ 9:53 am
Hey Mike and others…finally some young ppl…was thinking I was the only one for a while there…I’m 30yrs old and my hearing loss (almost complete) was sudden in my right ear with what I consider to be loud tinnitus (so sound therapy not an option – sadly) only found out I couldn’t hear as thought my Ipod cord had broken..then trying to make a phone call – nothing!!! It has been about 7 weeks now…and as long as I don’t get that sudden attack of veritgo (that I orignally had) think I would be quiet happy – but if it’s Meniers then perhaps I’m out of luck with that… not to worry your story and recommendations lifted my spirits…take care.
September 25th, 2009 @ 3:24 am
I came to your site for more of your beautiful music and found that your are a fellow T sufferer.
Thanks for the tips on coping.
September 29th, 2009 @ 12:20 am
Thank you Dan,
Yeh I’ve had T for many years but this last year has been the loudest. Trying not to be angry is the hardest part, I think I will improve slowly through relaxation and distraction techniques. It can just go away completely so there is still hope. I hope you are managing well also. Good luck, you’re not alone.
March 19th, 2010 @ 2:11 am
Hi Mike
I am a Tinnitus sufferer also. I have lived with T for a long time ( 25 years ). From what I’ve seen most people that have told me they have T, somehow learn to live with it. You should also. It bothers I know, It is always there. Some days it gets worse for no reason. And others it gets softer. Some things you might check that could be making your tinnitus worse :
Check whether water that gets in your ears while you swim has an effect on your T. Is T louder after you leave the pool ? I swim also and found out that water stimulated my T after my workouts. I am swimming now with earplugs designed not to let water in my ears and have found it has helped me.
Another thing : when you work in front of a computer and you probably do, the height and distance the monitor is positioned might make you take neck positions that are stressful to your T. Check that your neck be always in good position while you are sitting working with computers of whatever.
March 19th, 2010 @ 2:18 am
Thank you so much for your tips Juan, I will definitely keep it in mind. I have had some success with T lately believe or not by not managing it all all. Just teaching myself to become disinterested in the whole affair has made a marked difference.
April 16th, 2010 @ 3:57 pm
Hello,Mike
Iam Dutch so my English is not 100%.
I have about 15 years tinnitus,hyperacusticus
and lose of taste in my mouth.
It is caused by someone who knocked me down from behindwithout reason .My cranium was dislocated
Because i new that there are no good working
healing methods,(i am physiotherapist),i did not go to all kinds of doctors.
I think this would frustrate me more and more.
In stead of that i said to myself:this first year we wil see what happens.
So it was an acceptance for 1 year.And then i wil see.(my own opinion was that in other case i would be crazy or so).I did not resist me against T.
When I wake up in the morning I spoke to my T.
in mind:Hello are you there my dear friend.
Without you I would be lonely.
I tried not to see my T. as an enemy that had to dissapear.
I know that it was a kind of trick to myself.
But i think that this trick me helped to live with T.and not suffer from it.
I think when you have T.see him like a friend and not as an enemy.
It helped me wonderfull.
I wish you and the others a good life.
Benno
April 16th, 2010 @ 7:41 pm
I have been suffering from pulsatile tinnitus for over 20 yrs now. The ringing, hissing, rushing sounds all at once 24/7 for over 20 yrs. I have found no escape and people don’t really understand what it’s like to have that sound constantly bombarding your brain. I too have cried and gone into such deep depression that I have considered suicide. Recently, as a matter of fact. Doctors haven’t been able to help with a cause or a relief. I am relieved to know that I’m not alone and I’m not crazy. Even though I’m sure I act crazy at times. If you ever find a doctor who can really help me, I would appreciate a reply. I use to be a singer and I still try, but sometimes when I listen back at the recording I can tell I’m off key. So depressing, because I love to sing. If you can help, great and if not, God Bless You.
April 18th, 2010 @ 3:18 am
Hi Anna,
Yes I really feel for you, in fact my T is back up today so I rode my bike to the gym. Do you exercise? Personally I not a fan of exercise but I do enjoy the rewards of it. I’m sure it will help calm you and assist in dispelling some of your negative energies. Also what Benno says below is very valid, as hard as it is I try not to “fight’ my condition. If I do my “flight or fight ” response is activated and guaranteed I’ll get a spike in volume.
Actually I also finding chewing gum quite a distraction, the sounds of me gnawing help modulate the sound a little.
Keep the faith sister, try not to fight and try to examine your lifestyle as a whole. You may unfortunately may not improve your condition but you will become a champion of the spirit and a light to others. It’s just our cross to bear but we will overcome.
April 18th, 2010 @ 3:20 am
Hi Benno,
That was so helpful, I have been with my friend all day, In a way it trivializes the condition and your brain can begin to let go of this possible threat, which really isn’t a threast at all.
Thanks again!
Mike
June 8th, 2010 @ 9:17 am
I just found your site while searching in the middle of the night for some inspiring words on dealing with my tinnitus. Downloaded some of your songs from iTunes (love Disciple and Doorstep to my heart) and noticed you have a gig in a couple of hours. Just know your words and music have touched a girl in California who needed to hear them tonight!
Thank you Mike!! Have a great show!
Arlene
June 9th, 2010 @ 8:31 am
Hi Arlene,
You know I really need that, you actually inspired a lil confidence in me before I went and I pulled off a great set. Thank you x
August 10th, 2010 @ 6:13 pm
Hello Mike: Thank you for writing so candidly and openly about your T. You inspired me to look at my T in a different way. I feel that I can live and work enjoy life’s little pleasures. I am hoping to begin TRT in a few months. May you continue to thrive and enjoy your music career. You have a wonderful wife! Best to both of you.
Cecylia Escarcega
Chula Vista, CA
February 22nd, 2011 @ 2:04 pm
Hi Mike,
I found your site tonight as I searched once again for insight, help, and any way to make my tinnitus recede or stop. Many of your tips and those of other readers were inspiring. I am entering my third year with tinnitus and have had many ups and downs, and moments of total exhaustion and collapse for this incessant ringing in my head. I have been fortunate to have found some moments of relief, and I keep looking for more; I welcome with praise the days I awake and its so quiet I can barely hear it … but most days I awake and there it is … I like that one fellows idea of welcoming it as a friend and acknowledging its presence. I too have a direct line with God about this whole thing, really don’t know why I’m left with it. I went to physio for a while and they actually were able to lessen the intensity of the sound somewhat. I sleep with a U-shaped pillow filled with wheat kernels as I’ve found that a hard pillow propped under my neck has benefits some days. This past summer I wore an elastic headband in my hair and noticed after a while that my tinnitus had been drastically reduced. I now where headbands – a lot – some days it works and others, well it’s bareable more than before, but I still have days of desperation and tears, and like you I have a wonderful spouse who holds me in his arms and lets me cry it out – he is such a blessing. Thanks so much for sharing your insight. I’m going to try the roibois tea … I too have noticed that showers are great, and walks down by the ocean when its windy are wonderful. God bless you and keep you – Rebecca Pierce-Peters
March 1st, 2011 @ 5:49 pm
Thank you Rebecca for the comment, it’s nice to know we can connect with people who can understand this condition. My tolerance is improving and occasionally, like you, I may get one or two days relative peace but it doesn’t last. If I really need to relax I have some lovely white noise of Niagra Falls which lasts for 30 mins, just heaven.
Bless you
Mike
June 11th, 2011 @ 7:30 am
Thank you for this post Mike. Gives me hope to keep fighting.
I also got Tinnitus as a result of Cisplatin and testicular cancer. I too would describe it as a high pitched ringing, and much louder than a tv at normal volume. Was suicidal for a while, but it is a little better now.
I live alone so it can get lonely at times, but I am sure it will get better.
God Bless
David
June 15th, 2011 @ 6:18 pm
Bless you too brother, wears me down sometimes, most days actually, but deep prayer and strength from the Lord gets me through. I’ll pray for us all. If only people knew what T is like, takes really strength heh bro, you can be proud, real proud!
December 21st, 2011 @ 1:26 pm
Great insight on what you feel, mine seems to be getting worse every 5 years and I am 29. Caused mainly by years of performing and recording music at loud levels for many years. There is a price to be paid forcthecthings you enjoy the most. I live with the fear of it getting worse, but I am glad it is good to know that there are people like yourself and others commenting on your post to relate with. Trying to enjoy all the beautiful things in life and not focus on the
noise. I hope one day we get to enjoy the silence again. You sound like you have a very understanding beautiful wife. Take care of yourself.
December 21st, 2011 @ 5:00 pm
Yeh, it’s not easy Michael, some days are harder than others but the Lord gives me strength. With Tinnitus now I don’t actually fear it getting worse, I seriously don’t think it can get any louder lol
Thank you for taking the time to reply.
Have a great Chrissy mate!
January 6th, 2012 @ 1:10 am
I have had my T for 10 years. I remember that first realisation, lying in bed hearing a faint buzz. It sounded like a reversing lorry, static from the radio perhaps. The next morning I woke up only for it still to be there. I put my hands over my ears and there it was, trapped in my right ear, that high pithed, never ending ring. I’m 21 now and have always been slightly alarmed at just how young I was when I first got it. Two weeks ago I had a head cold. Bunged up, headache, all the rest. I decided to go to bed early, laying there not really sleeping I was suddenly aware of the intensity of my T increasing. I put it down to my cold and went to sleep. Now, two weeks on, the intensity has not diminished and I have a very low hum in my left ear (only a problem at night) Now, I’m not really sure if my T has got worse… I have had T for 10 years and as time went on I noticed it less and less, to the point I almost forgot I had it, though I would always say, ‘Oh I have T’ If it cropped up in conversation. I believe my schooling, friends and growing up was perhaps a distraction to it all. To the point were I believe it probably almost disappeared, or at least was blocked from my head mentally. But on it’s return I have just tuned in to it. Blocking it seems so hard. I do believe, a huge part of it, ‘Is in your head’ but removing it from your life is a huge task. (If you tune in to Tinnitus, you will hear it, just like you can tune into floaters in the eye) I said to a friend very recently. ‘Tinnitus makes you feel very alone’ to which they replied ‘But so many people have it, you are far from alone’. Which is true, hundreds and thousands of people have T. Everyone you talk to knows someone and everyone who has it deals with it in a different way. One man said to me, ‘I just ignore it, I have better things to worry about’ Easier said than done, but it is possible. It’s kind of sad, but at the same time, very reassuring, to hope, just hope that one day there will be something that can help us. The fact so many millions of people suffer with it and I mean really really suffer means there will one day be relief. My guess being within the next 20 years. Sounds a way off. I have managed 10. In the meantime and this is easy to say, ‘Just F*^& it’ It is not going to kill us, it is not eating away at our brains or making us blind and there ARE things we can try. Keeping hydrated. Hypnotherapy, acupuncture, Ginkgo Biloba, dieting and most importantly, a positive attitude. All these things can help, if you really believe they will.
Remember people. You are not alone. One day there WILL be a cure, but until that day, don’t waste a second. Live life.
January 6th, 2012 @ 12:59 pm
Hey Charlie,
Thank you for your thoughtful reply and encouraging words. Today I’m having a good T day, not too loud so I’m pretty upbeat.
I recently took the plunge and tried something new in the last couple of weeks which may interest you and invested in a new “Stand up Paddle Board” to get out amongst the waves. The good news is I’ve been out on it quite a few times paddling away to my hearts content immersed in the sound of the wind and water completely oblivious to any T whatsoever.
I’m exercising, keeping fit, losing weight and off junk food completely. IMHO I need to do everything I can to maximize my health and spiritual condition if I am to overcome and not slide into defeat and depression. My heart goes out to those who have lost their way, who feel so sad and dejected, I’ve been there and there is hope!
Within my minds eye I visualize a triangle, Mind, Body and Soul. I ask myself. How am I treating each of these faculties. Do I pursue new interests or studies to stimulate my mind and activate my curiosity about the world? Do I take care of my body and exercise which arouse those lovely feel good feelings as endorphins flood my body? And do I pray with my whole heart to my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ for the strength and resilience that I need to survive this.
Sure, some days are still hard but I’m stacking the odds in my favour, my pro activity lifts my spirits, I am no longer a victim but behaving like a champion! They say the first step is the hardest but strangely T is a catalyst that ignites my fighting spirit. We shall overcome!
January 6th, 2012 @ 6:25 pm
heyy mike
im only 16 and i’ve had tinnitus since i was 14 can u imagine that ? im so frustrated.. i dunno what to do anymore.it just getting worse now.
but now i know something im not alone ,and i believe god will cure us from T.i need friends to chit-chat about my T.
thanks mike god bless you
January 10th, 2012 @ 7:00 am
Hi Mike,
Assuming you have been checked by a specialist for acoustic neuroma,Meniere’s disease,ostosclerosis, ect…Aging, stress, & loud noise can also contribute.Sounds like you’re doing things experts recommend.I’ve read that a white noise machine, avoiding tobacco, accupunture,homeopathy & steam inhalations may help.Try pressing with your fingers one finger’s width in front of ear at top of cheekbone (accupressure point).Good luck!
January 27th, 2012 @ 1:04 pm
God bless you too my friend. You know for now think about the activities you do where you notice it less, for me enjoyable exercise really help. If you were engrossed in say a game of basketball or soccer it’s like you never had it. Your brain is you too occupied to give it any attention at all.
January 27th, 2012 @ 1:05 pm
Thanks for that but was sort of prodding around hoping I had the right spot, I need a expert
March 10th, 2012 @ 5:49 pm
hi,Mike how are you ? good news im getting better now , and i think god gave me this T as a gift. everything happens for a reason right.. im so close to my family,friends and church now and its amazing mike ,oyeaa i play music too just like you
stay positive big brother ,god bless you
March 18th, 2012 @ 12:17 pm
You’ve inspired me brother, so happy for you. My T is DEFINATELY improving too. There is hope!
April 9th, 2012 @ 9:26 am
Well, I’m about 3-4 weeks into bi-lateral T. What a bummer… I now already know and sense that I will truly miss the quiet early mornings outside, before the day begins, cup of coffee in hand, birds chirping, etc. I still do it – but nowhere near the same. Similar to some comments here, I immediately adopted the “technique” of, that whenever I tune into/become aware of my T – then I use that moment as a reminder to thank God for the blessings I have: great health, loving wife, two beautiful little girls, a nice home, clean air, clean water, healthy food…. etc. etc. It is up to me to decide if a rainy day is bad news, neutral news, or positive news. Same with any event…. who is to say that a flat tire is something “bad” – it is just a fat tire, and how I perceive and respond to the event is everything. I choose – and some days it is difficult to keep that focus – to use my T as a reminder to be thankful for all the luck and blessings and wonderful experiences of my life. If not, if I only focused on bitching about it, what a miserable bag of bones I would become. …on a side note, I see that whenever I am outside and doing things (gardening is a great one) that I don’t notice my T so much. Also, I bought a pair of Bose noise cancelling headphones ($300) – they are so worth it if you have T. …can play soft music or sounds, and the noise cancel feature combined with great Bose sound – at low levels even – is a wonderful thing. None-the-less, 3-4 weeks into it. I also need to consider this each day, and not think “how can I go the rest of my life dealing with this”. I’m 43. But from other walks of my life, I know that if I take each day one day at a time, or one moment at a time, then I will be okay. The future will always arrive, but all I really can do is live in the moment. And right now, a ringing in my ears as I type this is not the end of the world. thank you all – much appreciate your sharing as well.